i’m in love with the faces of a thousand nameless girls i’m in love with the chases for the unattainable i’m in love but i’m tasteless i only want what’s bad for me i’m in love with a waitress if only i could drink for freeeeeeee
it’s clear he’s in no place to be with anyone right now, and even though he says that, he doesn’t seem to really know it yet. so he keeps doing the same things over and over again.
i know that he’s not ready for anything. it’s one thing that i’m absolutely sure of. but i don’t know how many nights i’ve gone to sleep in the past three years thinking about what it would be like. i want this so bad, and i have absolutely no control over whether or not it happens.
so we keep doing this. i keep getting my hopes up and he keeps taking it all back. and last night i drew a line, and now i wish i hadn’t. because i’d rather have this stunted pathetic half-relationship that usually hurts but sometimes is wonderful than no relationship at all.
i think i may have a legitimate problem with buying clothes.
i can’t stop. it’s like a compulsive need to spend money on clothing that i don’t need. and it’s just clothing. not make up, or food, or nail polish (more than usual). just clothes. i just bought the most awesome pair of leather pants at urban outfitters, and i mean they were on sale. but i don’t need them. and the dress i bought at francesca’s. and the lace top i got at work, with the sunglasses and the rings. this was in the last 3 days. i think i may have a real problem. no joke.
my little sister and i are both adopted, and in a week she’s meeting her real family. she’s got a big sister who’s actually related to her, who’s really her sister, and i’m so scared she’s going to like her better than me.
“You take a born-pretty girl and you dress her up in pretty things, curl her pretty hair and she becomes empty, vacuous. The only thing she can claim as a self identity is her one dimensional beauty. But take a pretty girl and throw some shit on her, and make her fight her way out of it and she’ll grow to be other-worldly radiant and a force to be reckoned with.”—Beautiful and Depraved (via julie911)